Win over Belgraders in five steps

What to give as a present to the Serbian host and housewife

Saturday 20th of January 2018

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OK. We can suppose that you could take as a tourist from Belgrade - a bottle of homemade brandy with a personalized inscription, quince or plum which, in addition to a high percentage of alcohol, odor and aroma, has the family legend like Game of Thrones; bacon with emphasis on the whiteness of domestic fat of pig origin with a minimum of harmful cholesterol; a jar of ajvar that only the donor housewife can make without artificial preservatives that, by the way, are not needed because the average lifetime of an average ajvar jar is about two days; quince dessert topping (slatko od dunja) with walnuts and lemon slices; vintage crochet table-cloth that you can now only enframe as a mandala image because the TVs are too thin to be covered...

But the real challenge is what to bring to Belgrade? Except a money bag, let's not be so free. So, the list of most wanted imported items in Bg:

- With about twenty years of delay, Oreo Biscuit has overcome all versions of imported and homemade sweets. Serbian versions of this biscuit spring up like mushrooms after the rain and domestic gourmands have already developed a specific testing methodology for imported packaging. You can buy Oreo in almost every store, but is it really "the very original"? Aware that we still belong to the "eastern market", numerous consumer associations have drawn attention to the difference in the quality of goods intended for the "east" and "the EU". So, if you come to Belgrade and want to gladden the host, bring the "original Oreo". Here, you will be told how to dip it with a fork into "Kravica" milk and let go to the instant gastronomic enjoyment.

- If not Barilla, it is not the original Italian pasta. Although it is more expensive than in other EU countries, it is an absolute champion of home cooking. Belgrade is famous for the versions of Italian specialties that the Italians have never heard of. Still, the pasta must be - original. You can find a large selection of Barilla pasta in Belgrade stores, but may gladden a fancy housewife, from whom you expect all the benefits of a good snack, with new packages of integral, bio and pasta Piccolini. Stay out of the sauce.

- Belgraders always have a "way" to smell good - sometimes it is sarma and sometimes the most famous and most expensive perfume in the world. The fact that "there is no bread to eat" does not keep residents of the capital from "eating cake". The French are familiar with this philosophy so the next link is related to it - if you have a friend or maybe a mistress in Belgrade, act like the French. Original Chanel 5 can not go wrong. The one to whom you have given it will adore you or leave you. In the first case, you know for sure that you should go down the aisle. The second case take as the cheapest way to save yourself from misery.

- In Belgrade you can drink various beers at different prices. The Serbs are very proud of domestic beers and recently, home-made beers have become, as the English say, posh. To be honest, Serbian beers are not far from the average, but the atmosphere in which they are drunk is extraordinary so you are happy anyway. However, if you want to treat your Serbian friend, give him a package of Dutch Grolsh beer. You will not regret.

- With the beer goes the continuation of proving masculinity and if you are staying with a friend in Belgrade and you have been tired of clubbing and constant food tasting, it is quite okay to stay in with TV. No, we do not recommend "those" movies. You can give your Serbian friend a video set of "Top Gear" show with the old team headed by Jeremy Clarkson. Audience in Serbia can now watch this TV series through numerous cable channels, but the early episodes were quite rare here and Clarkson's attitude towards life is much closer to Serbian perceiving things than it is the case with the new team. P.S. We suggest that you show up on the door of your Serbian friend dressed as the Stig carrying Top Gear video package and Grolsh beer. Blood brotherhood follows.